When you break up from a difficult relationship you often feel tired of your past. You want to create a new healthy relationship based on a solid base. Unfortunately, in most cases the next relationship ends up in another failure since you keep falling for the wrong person. How can we attract the right man for a balanced relationship?
Why you attract who you attract
As the old saying goes, equals attract each other. This is absolutely true in human relationships. If we are going through a tough phase in our life and feel confuse, if we are not sure what we want from our partner and we are not very emotionally stable, it’s more likely we attract the man who is in the same place as you are. If we have low self esteem, we are going to attract a man that have the same issue. If we feel insecure, we are going to attract an insecure man. It’s just how it works.
What can you do to attract the right man?
Before going into a new relationship, you must get to know yourself better. Go through some sort of self exploring and reconcile with your self. Learn to forgive. This is the best way to attract the right man who knows who he is and what he wants from his life. A man with clear views on what he is looking from a relationship. Not just a boy who wants to have fun. Hey, there is nothing wrong with that, as long as you are in it for the fun as well. If there is no mutual understanding about this, someone will get hurt. Don’t be that person.
Before going into a new relationship, you should really think what kind of relationship you want. Do you wish to attract the right man for your life, or you just want someone to go out with. Are you looking for a rebound relationship to get over your ex? Or you just want to make him jealous and show that you can move on? Are you willing to be in an open relationship or you want and demand exclusivity? If you don’t know what you are looking for and you are willing to settle with anything, it’s very likely you end up hooking with a man that has different needs from yours.
Take your time when you are single to know your self a bit better. Explore your needs and find out what you really want. Don’t rush into a new relationship just to be with someone. It might be difficult to be alone, but it will pay off in the future. And don’t forget. You are never alone. You have your girl friends!
Attract the Right Man By Being Open And Honest
A big mistake that most of us do when we get into a new relationship is not to express what we like or dislike. This happens before we try to be cool, play along, and show that we are easy going. After all, you don’t want to scare him away with too much whining. Maybe you will hide how important your career is to you. Or you forgot to discuss how close you are with your family. Or even worse, not open up about more serious issues like if you like to believe in marriage and want to have children one day.
This kind of secrecy is a deceiving behaviour as you will lead your man to believe that you are a perfect fit, while in reality your goals and dreams are very different. This will come up sooner or later and when it does, it will shake your entire relationship.
Clear communication of what you really want is critical from the early steps of a relationship. It will set things straight from the beginning. It might be tough to overcome the fear of rejection, but at least you will know right away if this is the right man for you. A simple lie will bring another, and before you know it you will be trapped in a web of contradictory views that will be hard to explain. So what’s the point? If it’s not the right man, it’s better to find out soon in order not to waste any time. Don’t think for a second that you will be able to change him in the future. You won’t. It’s a dead end. Men don’t change and no matter how hard you’ll try, you will end up hurting yourself and at the same time look like an ego-centric person who’s trying to change his whole life for you.
Balance is Key to Attract the Right Man
Another thing we have to clarify with ourselves and with the person who we wish in our lives is what is the right balance in our relationship. If you are the type of person who wish to spend much time with your friends like when you used to do when you are a single, perhaps you might want to check with your boyfriend if he’s cool with it and if he does the same when he is in a relationship. On the other hand, if you wish to spend all day with him and he’s not used to this kind of relationship, then this might cause some tension. Imagine how invasive you will look if you are too needy in the eyes of someone who is more independent and needs more space in his life. This relationship will never work. Not now, not in the future.
Every relationship is unique and certainly different from all the rest you had in the past. That’s why you cannot love two people the same (to quote the influential author Wm. Paul Young). You don’t have to compare it with your current relationship with your ex. You never know how they will develop. But if you really want to know the secret on how to attract the right man, you need to work on fixing the not so great stuff about you. No one is perfect. And you will never be perfect. But that doesn’t mean you will never do anything to be a better person.
Honesty is they key to creating a relationship just like you wanted it to be. You should never compromise with men who are not what you are really looking for. Not sure about who you currently are? Take the 30 questions break up quiz with complete honesty and you’ll get a clear view on where you stand.
Our relationship does not define who we are, but it’s crucial to have a happy life. So when you realise that you keep attracting the wrong men in your life, then you must ask yourself. Is it me? Do I send the wrong message and attract inappropriate men in my life? Face the ugly truth and get better results starting today.