Women choose to date older men for a number of reasons. Find out what you need to know when you are dating older men and have a healthy relationship! First of all, old and young are two words that mean different things to different people. For example, if you ask a teenager what is old for him, they will tell you 35. If you ask your grandparents, they will tell you 40 is young! It might sound over simplistic but it’s the truth. Age is relative and you shouldn’t put a label on the people you are interested in. Sure, society has its ways to categorize ages and put rules around who should have a relationship with who, but these rules mean nothing when loves come in. Love does not recognize ages and we have many examples where women dating older men had an amazing time with them or ended up marrying these guys.
On the other had, there are some undeniable disadvantages when you are dating older men. We have to be realistic and look into both sides of the story if we want to be as objective as we can. It’s up to you to decide what’s more important to you and give it a go or not. At the end of the day, our relationship advice goes as far as putting the facts on the table and not taking sides. If you consider dating older men but have doubts, the following pros and cons will let you decide.
Dating Older Men: The Pros
Older Men Know What They Want: no more dating boys who are giving you all kinds of excuses to break up with you just because they are not sure what to do in life. Dating older men means that you have a real man next to you who has thought about things and is sure first of all about himself. Knowing yourself is the first step towards self acceptance and self actualization. Older men have fulfilled most of the lower needs. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, building confidence is a step earlier than self awareness. Older men have conquered the top of the pyramid and they can focus more on you rather than themselves. They will not have second thoughts about marriage or having kids, they will either want or don’t want them. At least you will know from day one what they thing about important matters in life and you will waste no time when dating older men. Time is of the essence!
He’s Emotionally Stable: when you know what you want in life, you have solved most of the difficult personal questions you come across. That means that you don’t have extreme ups and downs that affects greatly a relationship. Dating older men means that you are seeing a man who is stable with his emotions, he is not freaking out over petty stuff. He has set his priorities straight and nothing can worry him because he has built in back up plans that can hold him when in crisis.
Security: emotional stability is not the only thing you get when you are dating older men. There is also financial security that you enjoy. Now before you start going crazy about this point let me explain. I’m not suggesting you start dating older men just because they are rich and because they will pay for everything so that you can stay home and quit your job! Working in creative things will make you happy either way and you should never stop doing what you love. But think about it for a second. So many marriage counseling starts when financial problems arise after getting married. Things will not be rosy all the time. Financial issues lead to arguments and if you are not prepared to deal with them, you might end up breaking up or having a divorce if you are married. Dating older men means that you have a man who is probably successful in business and have built some kind of financial security around him, so that you don’t have to worry if you lost your job. He will support you so that you don’t go crazy if you stay unemployed for 2-3 months. Dating older men means that you will also enjoy more luxury holidays, a better home and / or car, even though these things are not important in life, well, it’s nice to have!
Experience: last but not least, he has all these amazing experiences that can help you develop as a person much faster than if you were dating a younger person. Maybe he has travelled a lot and can give you a taste of different cultures from around the world. That will make him open minded and ready to accept new ideas since he has seen that not only path leads to the truth. Dating older men means that he guide you through life as he has been there before you and can tell you what’s going to work and what to avoid. They have lived through tough situations and have come out strong. This experience is vital for your relationship since it will help it make it more unique and durable when you face a problem.
DATING OLDER MEN: THE cons
He’s not ready to commit: well there is a reason why this person is still single, right? Think about it, if you are dating older men who haven never been married, it means that they have never been able to come so close to a woman that they felt this need to be with some one for the rest of their lives. It’s true that most men are afraid of commitment and older men is the evidence that this is still true. On the other hand, they might be divorced which will make things even more complicated as they might not be ready to commit in a new relationship. Older men might even have children from another marriage, and in this case your relationship will have to set out the ground rules from early on before you move on.
How to deal with this? Check out our comprehensive guide on How to Make Him Commit in 7 Easy Steps and get ahead of the game!
He’s not very active: this might not stand true for every one, but it’s probably right for most of the older guys out there. Having done so many things in your life, you might have burned most of your energy and want to relax a little bit. Take it easy. Don’t go out on a Saturday night. Or a Friday night. Not to mention a weekday. Dating older men means that you might end up spending more time having a coffee rather than raving on a club until 6 in the morning. As far as I’m concerned that’s not even a con if you have already done that and you don’t feel the need to go there any more. But if you are 21 and want to experience a crazy week in Miami or a reckless weekend in Las Vegas, then probably you need to someone younger to be more spontaneous with your plans.
He’s set in his ways: dating older men means that you will not be able to change them at all since they have already made up their mind when it comes to important decisions in life. Or not so important. For example, if he has already set aside Sunday as the day he goes for a walk in a park, you will not be able to change this routine no matter how hard you will try. They are not even interested in changing these old habits because they have been living with them for so long, it’s part of who they are. Younger dudes might be more open and flexible, but dating older men will test your ability to bend.
As you see, dating older men is not so scary as you might have thought. You might face some challenges, but if you are a positive person you will be able to discover that the person you have next to you has a lot more to offer. Give him a chance and you won’t regret it!