Has motherhood and responsibilities changed your feelings about your partner and father of your children? Here’s a fresh look on how to save your marriage by looking at your husband with a different set of eyes. Patricia Love wrote an amazing book called How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It where she gives great advice on this difficult issue. We are breaking down it to a 5 min guide that can dramatically change the quality of your marriage by implementing a series of easy steps.
You like your life with him. You absolutely adore him and your children. But there are some moments that these nasty “what if” thoughts pass your mind. What if I haven’t met him? Here’s 10 simple tips about how to save your marriage, refresh a long relationship and maintain a happy life. Change your life now, you can do it!
The Full Guide: 10 Tips on How To Save Your Marriage
1. Be an expert in communication
You should get into the daily habit of asking your partner: how was your day, love? If you are upset with him, avoid throwing accusations and threats. Instead of telling him “you are selfish and lazy” or “I’m tired of taking care of the baby while you seat in the couch”, take a different approach. The best way to save your marriage is by changing the words you choose to say. Instead of insults, speak up and describe your feelings. Guide him. For example “can you please change the diapers while I prepare her milk?”
2. Accept your husband
All human beings are unique. Thus we are different than each other. This applies to everyone, even for your partner. As you accept his qualities and skills, you also have to accept his disadvantages and low points. It’s pointless to try changing him. In reality, when we try to change our partner and have what we always dreamed of, the only thing we manage to get is to cause a mini crisis. If you want to save your marriage, think how many strange things he accepts on you. It will help you understand the fine balance of your relationship.
3. Assume your responsibilities
When you are together, it doesn’t mean that your entire being is connected with your husband. In a healthy marriage, each partner assumes responsibility of their own self and actions. The next time you accuse him of your misery, think what are you doing to make yourself happy? Instead of believing that it’s all his fault, remember that relationships are not built in order to fulfil selfish needs.
4. Take care of your partner
Treat your husband with love, make cute little things that you know matter for him. Avoid raising the tone of your voice and eliminate yelling from your home. Nobody likes orders, especially strong and confident men. If you want to know how to save your marriage, start talking softer and kinder to your husband. It will be deeply appreciated!
5. Express your gratitude
Love is a precious gift. Learning how to love someone is the first step for our self improvement. So don’t let a day pass without reminding him how happy his love makes you. Don’t hesitate to say thank you for being who he is and for being next to you when you need him, for all the trust he has shown to you. If you really care and want to know how to save your marriage, stop what you are doing, choose one of these amazing thank you quotes and send it to him via text message or e-mail. A small act of gratitude will change everything!
6. Master the art of conflict
You will never find a relationship without any arguments and fights. It’s in our blood and in human nature. It’s always one party that sends the signal when to stop a fight. Instead of keep fighting, try to make up. You had enough fighting for today, call it day and try to speak about that burning issue when the time is right. Calm down and discuss when you are both feeling better. Explain with crystal clear manner avoiding irony. Try to stick to the point and don’t get into too much detail. Don’t bring in subjects from the past and relive ugly moments. Discuss possible solutions and don’t hesitate to express gratitude when he finally understands your point of view.
7. Maintain physical contact
Even if you feel angry or in bad mood, don’t let a day pass without touching him. A kiss, a hug the warmth of the body will have an immediate effect on making you feel better. We all need physical contact even if that’s not sexual. A touch on the shoulder can make him feel that you are still in love. An old and tried tip on how to save your marriage that has worked for thousands of couples through the years.
8. Take care of your relationship
There are always excuses for a tired relationship. Work, kids, routine can be easily called out. In order for a couple to find the passion of the first days, sometimes you just have to change that routine. Make sure that these changes are something that you both want. Make a serious discussion as a couple and identify the things that you want to change together. If he disagrees, try to understand what holds him back. If you find it too difficult, it’s not a shame to ask for a professional marriage counselor help. Marriage Counseling by trained mentors can be key to unlock secrets on how to save your marriage. If you are afraid, go speak to a marriage counselor alone before you discuss it with your husband. Learn what’s involved and find out if it’s what you were looking for.
9. Love is not like mathematics
When we fall in love with passion, we are ready to give everything without asking anything in return. Love is a soul opening to giving, but unfortunately it fades away. Then people return back to their old selfish personality and start to make calculations. “If I agree on this, he will give me that”. However, love is not like mathematics. Have you ever thought how happy we become when we give without asking anything back, without having to get paid for that? Of course, this has to be mutual, otherwise it won’t work. One of the best tips on how to save your marriage is to open your self like a flower and expect nothing. Your partner will appreciate it and will respond with much bigger acts of gratitude.
10. Say what you want
Ask instead of telling him off. This is the final golden rule of maintaining a healthy and peaceful relationship. Instead of getting mad on him because it’s Saturday and he has left you alone with the kids, just ask him kindly to take one of them with him so that both can have a bit of fun.
That’s the end of our ten simple tips on how to save your marriage. We really hope that you found some interesting advice that can help you in your daily life with your husband. Guidance that will assist you in a harmonic relationship with the man you love the most, the father of your children, your partner.