You have been in and out relationships for the past few years (or more) and you feel ulimately gutted and disapointed to see each and every one of them fail miserably. Browse an amazing collection of relationship quotes for inspiration or send one picture to your sweetheart and express your feelings. If quotes are not really your thing, keep reading.
You start to wonder why this is happening to me. Why can’t I just find a normal guy / girl that I can be happy with?
Let me tell you a story. Happiness is not easy. It takes a while until you find it. If the statement you read was not true, our world would be full of happy people enjoying their relationships to the fullest. Well, I’m sory to break the news for you, but it ain’t anything like that. Relationships are difficult. And if you are not prepared to make the effort, they can kill you. Bad relationships can drain your energy, turn you into a miserable person, a mindless zombie who lacks any kind of will for joy. Do you want be the next star in “World War Z”? I guess not. Keep reading.
The Ultimate Cheat Sheet for Lasting Relationships
This is probably not the first time you read one of these. But the fact that you clicked on this article, is the sole evidence to prove that you still haven’t got it right. And that you care. That you really want to build these lasting relationships and be happy once and for all.
I’ll try to break it down for you as simple as possible. Follow my advice and in 6 months you will increase your chances of having a healthy relationship that has much more likelihood of being the “one”.
Eliminate your Ex
They hurt you and it sucks. They’ve been brutal and crashed your hurt without a second thought. You feel betrayed and used. Stop it right there. Re-read the sentence above. Notice anything? Did you notice that everything inside it is negative? Every single word radiates bad energy. This is not helpful. You need to eliminate your Ex. And by that, I mean kill (metaphorically) and kind of memory that connects you with this harmful past. Burn the photos (believe me, it does help!), tear down the love letters, search “email@example.com”, select all, press Delete. Log on Facebook and unfriend him and all his friends. It doesn’t matter how close you are with some of them. You need an exit, and you need it fast. Total elimination is the first step of setting you free. Without being free, you can’t get on with your life.
You burn down all the “evidence” but you stil have thoughts and memories haunting you. You go to sleep fearing that you will dream about him again and relive some of the good memories. Remember, he chose to turn these dreams into nightmares. They don’t deserve it. Start eliminating these thoughts as quickly as possible by emptying yourself. Some do yoga, some meditate, some party all night long, some just sit in front of the TV and watch movies all day long. I don’t care how sophisticated your method is. Try as many as you can, decide what works for you and stick to it. In 1 week, you will feel a little less sad. Something is starting to change, but you still catch yourself bringing these “great” memories back. Hunt them down and burn them. They are your worst enemeies. For each great memory, there are hundreads of lies and hours of crying. Ask yourself, is it worth it? Now get back into the emptying exercice and redo the method you did and worked for you. Repeat for as long as it needs, until you feel completly empty.
Find someone new
Now that you are free, it’s time to move on. Go out with friends, ask them to introduce you to any cool people they know. Try on-line dating. Choose your best shot, upload on MyDatingLog and complete your profile. It’s not gonna take more than 5 minutes. If you don’t like it, try something else. No matter what you do, find someone new. Fast.
OK you’ve started dating. And he’s kind of cool. And you want to impress him. Don’t. Quit any attempt from selling yourself as the next best thing. Don’t lie about your age, your history, your family, your work. Each time you lie to them, it’s lying to yourself. Sooner or later all these lies will be brought into light. And you will look like an idiot. And you won’t have anything to say. Except of more lies. And so on. Soon you will end up in a vicious cycle of lies, a web that will haunt you and no matter how hard you try to escape, you will be stuck for life. A prisoner of your own lies. Don’t do it.
Learn to Trust
Your previous relationships left deep marks on your heart. Your brain wants to take over and analyze everything. Why did he say this? What does he hide? When did he move into town? Who was he sleeping with before me? What is he not telling me? Stop! You need to quit over analyzing and learn how to trust. As a human being with feelings, you are afraid that you will be hurt again if you trust the wrong person. Then don’t. And spend the rest of your life alone and miserable. Don’t trust them and be the crazy person who is always suspicious. Watch yet another of your relationships crumble. It’s up to you.
Once you decided to trust the other part, there is no turning back. You have to open up. You have to let go. You have to use Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball to tear down your walls. By opening up, you make deposits in the relationships bank. The more deposits, the higher credit you build. And you will need it, once in a while everyone’s need withdrawls. Better start saving now!
Relationships have their ups and downs. Don’t assume that once you have opened up, everything is going to be awesome. You need to be patient and wait until the magic happens. For some relationships, this can come really fast. For others, you might have to be a little bit more patient. I once knew a guy who started a relationship with a girl in summer. He felt in love and he was very happy with her. 3 months down the line, life threw a little obstacle on him. He had to move in a different city for 6-9 months. He decided to be honest, explain the situation and open up to her even more by saying “Baby, I know it’s too much to ask so I will understand if you can’t wait for that long. Our relationship means so much to me but I won’t blame you if you can’t take it. But I promise you that I will do everything I can to be as fast as possible back in your arms.” And he meant it. She agreed to wait for him. Two years later they got married and they live an amazing life together. Good things happen to those who can learn to wait.
Enjoy the ride
Every couple fights. But at the end of the day, they still love each other. Never forget this, and enjoy the ride, even when you don’t understand certain kind of behaviour. It’s going to be irrelevant. Just enjoy the moment, because you never know what’s gonna happen down the line. I have friends that had long relationships and in the end they separated. But they always remember them as fun and full relationships, because they had the unique ability of enjoying every single moment. Which leads us to…
By now, you should alreadby be enjoying a healthy relationship which can develop into a lasting one. Stand still for a moment and be grateful for everything you have accomplished. That’s right! It was YOU who made it happen. You brought the magic into your life by following the steps to a great relationship. Not everyone has it. Don’t take it for granted. Don’t assume that it was easy because it now seems effortless to love and to be loved. Close your eyes and imagine a world that everyone is enjoying the same love and affection as you do. Hold that thought for 5 minutes. Radiate love back to the world and it will pay you back 10 times more love. Even if you don’t believe in this stuff, it doesn’t cost a thing to give it a try. See if it works for you. You wil be amazed.
Relationships are great. Start working on this ultimate cheat sheet for lasting relationships and you will see how it can work wonders in your life!