Most long distance relationships fail because of the overall negative perception of each partner in it. Don’t fall into this trap, because there is no rule of thumb that says it’s going to end anytime soon. You have to maintain a positive attitude that you can make it. If you find this hard to believe, you are probably looking for hard evidence. You are probably googling how to make a long distance relationship work and you found this article. That means that you really care about your relationship and you want some concrete advice on how to make it work.
We understand your fears, it’s OK to feel like that. Most people are afraid that the love is going to fade away if they don’t see each other too often. Fight this fear and get real advice from the long distance relationship experts. Here’s the best tips on how to make it work!
Long distance relationship advice
1. Define the type of your relationship. It might be the most awkward conversation you will ever have, but you have to do it. Try to understand if you want exclusivity (are we going to date other people?), are going to describe it as serious or “we are dating” type of relationship? Set your limits up front. You will save a lot of drama in the future.
2. Keep frequent contact. Thanks to the wonders of technology, we now have a lot of ways to communicate. It’s not only e-mails or phone calls. You can also utilize web cameras via Skype or Google Hangouts to get a richer communication experience. Since you don’t see each other face to face, it’s important you create and maintain an emotional connection. You don’t need to have deep conversations. Sharing your day to day experiences or just saying something sweet or laugh with a joke is more than enough. Be careful though. Communication in long distance relationship can be tricky as it’s easier to create misunderstandings while talking to each other. Don’t create scenarios in your mind. If your boyfriend sounded somehow different on the phone, don’t assume there’s something wrong, that something has changed. Just go on and ask him openly.
3. Plan your next meeting. There is nothing more important than seeing each other as often as possible. Try to arrange all the details in order to make this happen. Schedule the date, arrange some time off work, book tickets and make hotel reservations. Use your project management skills to make it happen. The waiting can give you hope of something to look up to every day. It will give you courage and excitement and will help you maintain your long distance relationship.
4. Do stuff together! Does it sound strange? You can still have common activities even when you are not together. Watch the same movie or read the same book. Discuss about it and exchange your views. Look up in the sky and watch the stars. You will see the same sky and the same stars, even if you are in a different part of the country. Cook the same food, go to sleep with his sweater, give him a pillow case with your perfume or set the alarm at the same time to wake up together and say good morning.
5. Having a long distance relationship gives you an opportunity to have a real battle with your paranoid and controlling self. You have to trust each other deeply if you want to make this long distance relationship work. You are entering in it by free will. You both have to honor this choice, regardless if he or she is thousands of miles away. Relationships end when someone is not interested anymore, and this can happen either you are living together or he is in a different country. Distance doesn’t matter, what matters is love and honesty.
6. One of the mistakes that most couples do when they are trying to make a long distance relationship work is to have a substitute. Someone that they can be with when their partner is not physical present. Having a third person in your life creates even more space in your long distance relationship. You are risking of losing the mutual trust and the agreement you had in the first place (see point #1 above). Even if you don’t mean this to happen, this attitude might cost your relationship.
7. Remember that fighting is part of any healthy relationship where each one negotiates their needs with the other part. Don’t let your complaints to pile up, don’t wait to discuss your issues in person. This will poison your present and will destroy the beautiful moments that you carefully planned (see point #3 above). Talk to him. Don’t be afraid of going into an argument. You have chosen him and he has chosen you.
8. Focus on the positive side of having a long distance relationship. For example, you have plenty of personal time that you can utilize in the most creative way. Invest that time to do something for yourself. Learn a new foreign language or go to the gym. Work out your body so that he goes “WOW” next time he sees you. Take up a new hobby and go out with your friends. Enjoy it because this freedom might not last forever!
These are the best tips we can give you on how to make a long distance relationship work. If you have any more advice, please feel free to share it with us. Good luck everyone!